Sad Songs Say So Much, Apparently

Lousy childhood, check.

Did the poor thing. Oh, how I did the poor thing.

Learned guitar. Learned how to write songs. Learned how to write good songs, which took longer.

Got a boyfriend who cheated on me with my best friend and ran off with my dog in his truck. Took me three boyfriends to find one who would do it, too, and don’t think it was easy.

Wrote about him, and her. And the dog.

So where’s my record contract? I know how this works. I posted all my songs to YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and Snapchat and Instagram. Where’s my eager audience? Where are my likes? Where’s my country music award?

I’m here. Waiting.

I’m gonna go write a sad song about search engine optimization.